people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
