forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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