You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Ketchup is God's man juice
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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