Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
