That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize