I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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