yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
my poor anus
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Randomize
