you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize