I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
