Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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