We named our party play list daddy issues
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
