im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
