This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Randomize
