He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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