Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
