I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize