Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
