Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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