Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
