We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize