In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
