I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Your penis caused this!
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
