i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
