He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
