It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
