like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Randomize
