Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize