she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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