belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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