Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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