That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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