were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
