3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
