I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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