super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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