If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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