You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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