NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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