I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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