she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
