k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
