You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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