names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize