remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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