Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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