So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
vagina is talking i cant
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
