Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
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