sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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