I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
