Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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