I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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