i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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