Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
