She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
