I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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