I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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