I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
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