Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
