That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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