the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
