so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
