omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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