you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Randomize
