It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
