matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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