And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
