her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
