Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
