i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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