I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
