hotel room ftw
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Randomize
